Jokes About Russians

Several Funny Russian Stories
I like to laugh and tell jokes! đ There are a lot of jokes about Russia and Russians, most of all they are created within a story when 3 person from different nationalities have met and one of them is Russian. Here are several of this jokes, I like them:
1. Vodka đ
Once German, American and Russian got on an inhabitant island.
So they have decided to go fishing and suddenly caught a Magic Goldfish, and she tells them:
-If you let me go I will fulfill your 3 desires (1 desire for each one)
German: a glass of schnapps and put me at home
German drinks schnapps and disappears.
American: a glass of whiskey and put me at home
American drinks whiskey and disappears.
Russian: A box of vodka and bring this two back! đ
2. They are Russians đ
A Frenchman, an Englishman and a Russian are admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden.
The Frenchman says, âThey must be French, theyâre naked and theyâre eating fruit.â
The Englishman replies with, âClearly theyâre English. Observe how politely the man is offering the woman the fruit.â
The Russian then notes, âThey are Russian of course. They have nothing to wear, nothing to eat, and they think they are in paradise.â
3. Salvation, Russian Style đ
An American, an Indian and a Russian got to hell after they died and were met by the Devil with a huge whip (twice as big as Indiana Jones had). So Devil met them and saidâŠ
-âI give everyone one chance to go to heaven, all you have to do is withstand three lashes from my whip, also you can defend yourself with anything. So who is going to go first???â
An American steps forward and says:
-âI will go first and I will defend myself with this rockâ and picks up a huge granite rock.
-âVery wellâ says the devil. First lash â the rock shatters into million pieces. Second lash â an American screams in agony. âYou have to stay in hell!!!â says the Devil and asks who will go second.
-âI will go secondâ says the Indian.
-âWhat will you defend yourself with?â asks the Devil
-âNothing, Iâve been practicing Yoga for last 80 years, and impervious to painâ says an Indian.
-âOKâ says the Devil. First lash â Indian stays still. Second lash â nothing. Third lash â no effect. The Devil is very surprised and says âYou are the first ever to pass my test, you may go to heaven.â
-âThank Youâ says an Indian âbut if I may I would like to stay back and watch because in these jokes the Russian always wins and I want to see what happens.â
-âVery well, you may stay for now.â says the Devil. He turns to the Russian and say âwell it is your turn now, what will you defend yourself with?â
-The Russian answers with no hesitation âWell it is pretty obvious, with an Indian of course.â
Hahha)) Hope you liked this jokes!! If you have another â write it at the comment section below!
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Oleg Vinzhegin,
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