Jokes About Russians

Several Funny Russian Stories

I like to laugh and tell jokes! 😀 There are a lot of jokes about Russia and Russians, most of all they are created within a story when 3 person from different nationalities have met and one of them is Russian. Here are several of this jokes, I like them:

1. Vodka 🙂

Once German, American and Russian got on an inhabitant island.

So they have decided to go fishing and suddenly caught a Magic Goldfish, and she tells them:

-If you let me go I will fulfill your 3 desires (1 desire for each one)

German: a glass of schnapps and put me at home

German drinks schnapps and disappears.

American: a glass of whiskey and put me at home

American drinks whiskey and disappears.

Russian: A box of vodka and bring this two back! 😀

2. They are Russians 🙂

A Frenchman, an Englishman and a Russian are admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden.

The Frenchman says, “They must be French, they’re naked and they’re eating fruit.”

The Englishman replies with, “Clearly they’re English. Observe how politely the man is offering the woman the fruit.”

The Russian then notes, “They are Russian of course. They have nothing to wear, nothing to eat, and they think they are in paradise.”

3. Salvation, Russian Style 🙂

An American, an Indian and a Russian got to hell after they died and were met by the Devil with a huge whip (twice as big as Indiana Jones had). So Devil met them and said…

-“I give everyone one chance to go to heaven, all you have to do is withstand three lashes from my whip, also you can defend yourself with anything. So who is going to go first???”

An American steps forward and says:

-“I will go first and I will defend myself with this rock” and picks up a huge granite rock.

-“Very well” says the devil. First lash – the rock shatters into million pieces. Second lash – an American screams in agony. “You have to stay in hell!!!” says the Devil and asks who will go second.

-“I will go second” says the Indian.

-“What will you defend yourself with?” asks the Devil

-“Nothing, I’ve been practicing Yoga for last 80 years, and impervious to pain” says an Indian.

-“OK” says the Devil. First lash – Indian stays still. Second lash – nothing. Third lash – no effect. The Devil is very surprised and says “You are the first ever to pass my test, you may go to heaven.”

-“Thank You” says an Indian “but if I may I would like to stay back and watch because in these jokes the Russian always wins and I want to see what happens.”

-“Very well, you may stay for now.” says the Devil. He turns to the Russian and say “well it is your turn now, what will you defend yourself with?”

-The Russian answers with no hesitation “Well it is pretty obvious, with an Indian of course.”

Hahha)) Hope you liked this jokes!! If you have another – write it at the comment section below!

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Oleg Vinzhegin,

Your personal guide into the world of excellent Russian speaking

http://www.learnrussianlanguage.ru/