Jokes About Russia and Russians

More jokes about Russia and Russian!

 

In Russia, everybody love to joke. Especially we love jokes about the Russian. Seeing the popularity of the post “Jokes About Russians“, I’ve decided to put a few more jokes about Russia. The humor is mostly based on the comparison of the national Russian specifics and features of other countries.

 

 

1. Attitude to life

German, American and Russian meet on the dog racing championship.

German says:

– My dog ​​always listens to the race records with German marches and therefore constantly wins.

American:

– I and my dog ​​before competition always go to McDonald’s, get energy from food and so we always win.

Russian says:

– It’s all nonsense! I drink vodka with my dog before the start, 200 grams!

German and American in one voice:

– And you win then?

– No, what for?! But at the start we are the most hilarious and fun!

***

What for Americans is ridiculous, for Russians is salary.

***

Think about it: two Russian symbols – a bottle of vodka and a matryoshka – are incredibly similar. First, you open one, and it is followed by the second, third, fourth ….

***

We had the first social network in Russia. Since the word “Lenka” (woman’s name) arises on the fence – in a few days comes statuses and comments.

2. Russian production

Japanese haven’t invent such thing yet that Russian would not break ….

***

Japan invented a robot that catches thieves.

– In Japan, in 5 minutes it caught 100 thieves.

– In America, in 5 minutes it caught 200 thieves.

– In Russia, in 5 minutes someone has stolen the robot.

***

In America, there are roads that are built, are not on the map yet.

In Russia, there are roads that are marked on the map, but haven’t been built yet.

3. This is Russia!

One last joke is about Russian, quite vulgar, but very close to life. I want to say – this is Russia!

After the death, Russian and American go to hell.

The devil asks them:

– What kind of hell will you choose: Russian or American?

– What’s the difference?

– The U.S. hell you should eat a bucket of shit each day. In Russian should eat two buckets.

American went to US hell,  Russian thought, “All my life I lived in Russia. I’ll go to Russian hell”

They meet after a month there. Russian asks:

– Well, how are you?

– Well, today I ate a bucket of shit in the morning and the whole day was free. And you?

– Ah, as always: either shit did not deliver or no buckets for all.

:) :) :)

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Oleg Vinzhegin,

Your personal guide into the world of excellent Russian speaking

http://www.learnrussianlanguage.ru/

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Your personal guide into the world of excellent Russian speaking

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